…Lost’s Top 10 Candidates for ASP CEO

The ASP needs a new boss. Here’s our top 10 list of people we think could be the new CEO of the Association of Surfing Professionals (in no particular order).

Shea Lopez – He’s got the street cred and a head on him to boot. Shea thrives on a good surfing debate and if you’re head of the ASP you better be ready for a steady stream of them. He might actually enjoy it. Downside would be him surfing for 10 hours a day. Photo: TUPAT

Jamie O’brien – He sure has a lot of good ideas and opinions but any self proclaimed “retard” can sit on twitter all day and make surf videos (trust us, we know). Some tour surfers might get bummed if the CEO is getting bigger deeper longer barrels and doing bigger and more technical airs than them.

Bobby Martinez – It takes someone who has been on tour at the highest level, busted his butt on the WQS to get there, and studied the pitfalls of the other tours like tennis – to be able to make the best decisions. He would in all seriousness make at least a good surfers’ rep. Cut out the cussing and his words become so much more powerful. If they hadn’t been able to throw him out for cussing for the easy out – they would have had to address his points.

Chucky “Chuckilupo” Rigano – Inventor of the slow motion internet surf video replay. In case of the instant replay person going down, Chucky could fill in without a problem. Being the number one salesman down at Catalyst must mean he has people skills. Downside is his car is always breaking down so he’ll be late for work.

Kieren Perrow – ‘cuz Biolos says he’s smart.   He’s also most likely gonna fall off tour – unless he wins Pipe or one of the Triple Crown events this year – which he could.  Being the Surfer’s Rep for the ASP the last few years can’t hurt.

Michael Ho – Complaints from surfers would go away. He’d bring back the old buoy priority system and the World Title would be determined at Pipe or Sunset every time. If the surfers think the waves are too gnarly nothing is more humbling than watching a 55 year old man charge harder than you. Downside is the guy surfs too much.

Vince – Switchfoot shuvit f*cking airs will score huge.

Kelly Slater – What the f#$K else is he gonna do when he retires? Photo: CASAFREE.COM

Brodie Carr – While some think that the one heat premature announcement of Kelly as champ was an embarrassment to surfing – I guess it did set us back 30 years to Spicoli days – the ASP only wishes they could have the success that Vans had once they decided to embrace the Jeff Spicoli connection 10 years ago rather than be ashamed of it… Kelly was gonna win anyway. This is nothing compared to MLB robbing that guy of the perfect game last year, the NBA lockout, fines for making hits in football, or steroids. Until the sports associations had the Elias Sports bureau of nerds – they were all guilty of throwing out wrong stats on a fairly regular basis. The NFL had been announcing that teams had clinched their division when they hadn’t – due to all those intricate tiebreaker rules – after all that champagne was poured! Boo hoo. Brody’s leadership and focus on the webcasts has put the ASP in a stronger position than any other action sports circuit. Hands down. And it wasn’t by accident. I bet even the dude driving around with the anti-contest signs watches the things. I think the only thing that may cause long term damage was the Bobby incident. Lock Brody Bobby in a room until they come out with a game plan for 2012 – and a Slater Bobby rematch. “If you ain’t first, you’re last.” People deserve second chances – otherwise we would have no surf or skate team or employees here at …lost. (this one is mike’s personal opinion – and counter to some of the other people in our company). Photo: BUSINESS.TRANSWORLD.NET

Sean Volland – He thinks he knows competitive surfing better than anyone (and just might). Is no stranger to controversy. He’d work for a small salary as long as he got the company ride and a frequent flyer gold card. Could possibly secure Marlboro as a corporate sponsor and since we are hearing people whisper Rabbit’s name as a candidate, send Sean to Kirra, he’ll smoke cigs backside in the tube while cutting Rabbit off… he’s serious. Photo: SAVANNAH.BRADLEY.COM

That’s 10 right?

  • Aaron Corn

    SHEA LOPEZ!!! Bring the CT’ to the GULF!!!

  • http://lostenteprises.com OLDSCHOOLNEWPS

    I think they should hire Richie Collins. He doesn’t give a fu$k about Dion Agnes, Warren Smith or the Village People. It’d be all about Surfing, Mohawks and Blades. Oakley can be the corporate sponsor. and he has a big ass new truck so he’ll make it to work – unlike Chucky. but he might have a hard time explaining why he gave himself a wildcard and one for his 10 year old daughter too.

  • http://lostenteprises.com miker

    Wow. Sounds like a serious candidate for the list. Joe – you should add Ritchie to the list. That would make it 11 right? Maybe even do another …lost web contest where people send in their own candidates.

  • Gorkin

    shane beschen

  • Rui

    What about Randall?

  • TWON

    THAT WAS ONLY 8 PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • http://lostenterprises.com WHOISJOB TWITTER

    whoisjob Jamie O’Brien
    @LOSTENT since every1 of em riding ur boards mayb u shud take it that job @ ASP. they need a thinker. and that is U!!!!

  • http://lostenteprises.com Los2911 Carlos Herrera

    My vote is @shealopez the smartest dude in surfing.

  • http://lostenteprises.com NickCarroll5 NC’s 6th Sense

    now there’s some good shit

  • http://lostenteprises.com DemonScreams Rusty Steele

    @lostent Nice work. I counted 11 but what do I know?

  • http://lostenterprises.com miker

    shoot – that’s not 10? i guess you could fire us.

  • https://twitter.com/#!/BrodiesCarr BrodiesCarr Brodie’s Carr

    I’m willing to give you a second chance at writing that piece with humour, wit and intelligence. Your time starts now.

  • http://lostenteprises.com LOSTENT

    Hmmm. This is a tough one. We need to check with Chas Smith and we’ll be gettin back with you.

  • nacho

    sean volland? really? that guys a kook. loudest mouth on the water and any surf forum that has not banned him for his ridic banter. that guy does not dersever to be mentioned in the same breath as any of the above. i dont care how good he used to surf… b carr should have kept his job but he didnt so give it to shealo.


    Shane Beschen or Shea Lopez = They both KNOW Great SURFING. That is that scores well and freesurfs well.

  • http://lostenterprises.com miker

    Nacho – relax. While Sean may be A front runner – we have inside information that he is not THE front runner. I do however think that if Sean could really land that Marlboro deal it might be the biggest thing ever for pro surfing. Don’t you agree? AND Sean would instill some much needed military types of ranking and disciplining to the ASP. The Colonel is good at what he does. One little two hour public speaking and surf industry etiquette course and all that stuff you are warning us about goes away.

  • Chucky

    Richie’s got my vote too…actually he’s 2nd..just behind Mike Ho…just surfed Vland with Richie the other day. He’s the man….but then I seen Mike Ho in the legends heat at the HIC at Sunset…heavy. Close one though they both should just run shit together.

  • http://...Lost ODB

    Shea, Besch and Mike Ho. All legends and who can argue with them.

  • http://www.facebook.com/LostEcu JA


  • http://SME MORINformed

    Bud Llamas all the way!!!

  • http://...Lost ODB

    Hopper for CEO!!!!!

  • http://balijoeplugs.com BALI JOE

    Hell ya!! I’ll take Mike Ho for ASP pres he would have the NO LEASH rule in effect!!! As for that twitter clown JOB come on now that fool can’t even read and do basic math he can definitely surf pipe great but horrible in small waves. ASP is in need of some work what that BRODIE is a frickin retard to give slater the 11th crown prematuraly?!!?? aloha, bali joe

  • bali joe

    On another note some idiot odb put that medical weed fiend hooper!! Bahahaaaaaaaa floridian orange cush mush brain man have’nt seen that barney in years over here in hawaii,,so what locked up or what?? m.i.a. hooper??? I know one thing christian fletcher would not approve of richie collins for asp president lets not forget that wackin it in the corner shit..skeletor=spankator….bhahhaaaaaaaaaaaaa

  • ODB

    Bali Joe- U truly are dumber than you look and calling me an idiot- go xxxx yourself. I hope u get a beating for your Beschen comment. Sounds like someone is jealous and must be the biggest kook on the Island. In case you didn’t here it the first time go xxxx yourself!! ODB

  • http://ididnachosmonindabutt.gnar sean volland

    thanks 4 da plug guys. Brodie couldnt walk to the mailbox in my moccassins! and i aint gotta pair of baggies from these …lost xxxxs in a month of Sundays! Just cuz she dances gogo, dont make her a ho, no!!! if i was the marine patrol, id have let dumb ass Wardo and his girlfriend drown in that lil boat while downing a Natty, and sporting a toothless grin,… Cheshire stylie! God Bless Dick Brewer!!!!! Sean “da Col.” Volland ps: hey NachoNutz, do u want some melted jalapeno quesa with your lil girlie, Boones Farm WWWHHHHIIINNNEEEE!?!?!?

  • http://Lricvonn.com sean volland

    u gotta be kidding me. don’t turn into a bunch censorship ridden, hide away, lil xxxsies! this aint da …lost i signed up for. and where is my box CHUCKY? u cant post me on da team, but u can post this? ill stuff you on da biggest lefty at Strands, take your cooler, and give your chick my number, and have her on vid in Van Nuys 2 hrs later! Trip Freeman 4 president and God Bless Josh Sleigh and His! SV ps: Go KOLOHE, GO!!!!!! ive been fighting my whole state claiming u r better than Evan! dont make me look any worse kid and God Bless! ive always loved your dad; gr8 man/surfer! SV

  • http://www.lostenterprises.com jalani

    volland = call mike at 321 507 7912

  • http://www.lostenterprises.com PEARSON

    As if Mike didn’t already not answer his phone enough

  • bali joe

    Well it looks as if our good buddy ODB aka “old dirt bag” is a rattled on the comment I made !?! Ya your right!! I might not be the sharpest tool in the shed and act like a crazy clownnnnn from dawn of the stone age but at LEAST I surf pipeline better than you ever will ODB you channel bouy mainland kook! By the way beschen go lick his ball sack you sh!t maggott… that guys head is so out mars it’s a frickin joke ….by the way get a beat down bring it ODB lets meet at the field at sunset me and you for our own UFC unleashed…BAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA eat my spray in da line up lost boy!

  • http://lostenterprises.com lostent editor

    Editor’s Note: The person purporting to be Bali Joe is probably not Bali Joe. The Real Bali Joe would not even have the wherewithall or inside “New Smyrna” knowledge to come up with the email address balijoensb@yahoo.com – whether real or fake. Someone from NSB living in Hawaii, or someone closer to you than you think is yanking your chain, yet has a real chip on their shoulder about you guys and is hiding behind someone else’s name. This website is a pretty open forum but using fake names to say things you don’t have the balls to say in person is frowned upon. The IP address of the imposter is You can take it from there – match it up against your emails received and facebook transmissions and anything else you can think of to reveal the identity. Or use one of the many inexpensive tracking services that are sprouting up and you’ll be able to track it right down to the city block in Mililani. Have fun but don’t feed into it by leaving another heated reply to the fake Bali Joe.

  • willyg

    Hah! this is good sht. Chucky you da man!

  • Frank P.

    Are we talking about this Sean Volland? http://florida.arrests.org/Arrests/Sean_Volland_1906473/

    He seems respectable…

  • http://lost.com ydb

    who is he who is so wise in the ways of stone casting so as to avoid the stone himself. maybe you frank can lead the sqeaky clean group they call surfers.

  • http://www.twitter.com/frankiepells FRANK P.

    @YDB Pro surfers NEED a squeaky clean leader if they/their “sport” want to be taken seriously (by business interests). People will vote an ex-stoner cokehead into office as President because the general public is dumb and gravitate toward flawed personalities like themselves. But GE, Ford, ESPN, etc. aren’t hiring a criminal/someone with a bad reputation or especially shady past as CEO, CFO or any other top management position. Why would the ASP if that’s the league they aspire to run in?

  • http://lostenteprises.com miker

    Frank, Frank, Frank… There’s this guy on TV named Dave that does “top 10″ lists that are even more serious than ours…

  • http://NachosR4Fags.bung sean volland

    i truly appreciate all of the accolades from my friends at …lost, as well as the professional surfing community, and mostly to my fans; whom without, i wouldnt be where i am today, but,… i must graciously take my name out of the running for ASP/CEO due to lucrative offers from VIVID Video to be a talent scout, as well as a 6 figure a year, consulting position with GRAFFIX Bongs USA. i truly hope the ASP recovers from its chronic case of Optical Rectilitus, and would consider a Celebrity Backside Cutoff invite in Coolangatta to renew Mr. Bartholomew and myself’s nicotine friendship! Long Live Tubes, Boobs, & Dubes! I still would consider bridging the gap and filling in the …lost funds on tour by creating a relationship between Marlboro and the ASP, but alas, they just want to Search for shittier waves and dumber tabulaters! Thank God Kelly Slater went to CBHS and not San Clemente HIGH!!!!!!! if the world would just watch and listen to, “LOST AT SEA” while doing rips of da Bubble Gum gnar, the world would be a much better place. Kolohe Andino vs Gabriel Mendina for the next 5 years; Kelly cant bald anymore, but, he will lose, so i hope he bails soon and KUDOS, and Mayhem is what Al Merrick really wanted to be for Halloween! if you have never just chilled at the Snappers boardriders Club on an April afternoon, sipping a burleigh 4X Bitter, and watching the worlds best dissect the worlds best, it all seems like uneventful masturbation! God Bless Surfing & Thank The Lord A.I. is an Angel! SV

  • Kelly’s older brother

    Nacho grease & FrankPee…I didnt see your names mentioned, put down your skim board and get back to the drive thru window…#6 with a sprite

  • http://oicu812.org sean volland

    if my penis were my mind, id be John Holmes daddy! Nacho, if your intellect were your johnson, youd be a shitty matchbox! if we all surfed like Kelly, porpoise would eat pelicans regularly!

  • J-Rod

    Sean Volland for prez, aka (Batman) and the bat kids for vice

  • http://fishboy0413@aol.com Sean Hayes

    Sean You are the man Dude I’m stoked you made the list hope you get the job. Don’t forget about the little guy’s!

  • Booty Call


  • Chucky

    Thanks for the shout out Volland….I guess if you can cut Rabbit off at Kirra smoking a cig backside in the tube….you could probably stuff me at Strands just as easy…but I never surf Strands anyways so I don’t really care. As far as a box goes….I don’t handle that. I only get box. And your TEAM PAGE…….I told you to email me a picture or two…because there are over 1,000 guys with your name on facebook and when I google you, nothing shows up…not even your famous clip I mentioned above. Is it that hard to email a photo? It’s literally your fault that your page hasn’t gone up yet! It would make my day to put you up there if I could find even 1 photo of you anywhere. So like I said 6 months ago, email me a photo or photos that you want up there. I’ll text you my email again. Thanks and keep up the good work. PS. Any chick I have you can have…I’ll just give one to you…..we’ll call her your ” COMPANY BRIIIDE”. Hahahaha.

  • http://16streets.com Marlboro Man

    The Marlboro Reds marketing division is currently scouting surf-style candidates to attract the “healthy young type” we feel Sean Volland would make for a fantastic front man for the surfer campaign. We are prepared to send a full box of gear and samples to the colonel’s handlers.

  • http://16streets.com 305′s menthol

    If the marlboro man shows up limp, we got your back.

  • http://www.myspace.com/riderofthecove tommya

    Occupy Occhilupo

  • http://OICU812.LSD sean volland

    Marlboro Man, that “send to Col.s handlers” line is the best thing ive read in a decade fully! Colonel’s Handlers, like i have a crew that keeps me in line, like the Crocodile Hunter meets the Titty bar! good shit bro. im damn near in tears, cuz i probably need a couple “Handlers”! thanks for the laugh! SV

  • http://iluvbeer.yak sean volland

    i wish Freddy P. and Benji would get me on that BudLight Lime tour. id be stoked on that. surf all day and free beer all night; hook a brutha up Miker. Ill behave as long as i get to surf “”GOOD”" waves everyday! ill stuff JamieOB @ backdoor; deep; while cracking a BudLight Lime with my teeth, then do da dead cock roach all da way to OTW!!!! and if he has beef on da sand, ill get Cocoa Redneck on him! draw up da papers; Tupat will document it all! Red Bull vs BudLight Lime, Land And Sea! Aint none of em can outdrive me! Mike, break out da footage of my “Curren”, overpass exit bi proxi or da bombing range, doobie roll!!!!!!!! SV

  • http://16streets.com Hawaiian Sea Turtle

    Please send someone like the Colonel to get JOB off by back, horny fucker

  • http://BM4Prez.gov sean volland

    in all seriousness, i would love to see Bobby Martinez throw out a new format. Beschen is a legend, but a few hits past the norm of 2day, and, Dino would be the best fit! id sat Pete Dooley, and someone plz shoot Jeff Klugel in his right temple and put him outta his ASP misery/debachery! Klugel, u couldnt beat a wet bag with a razor knife so stop trying in your judging! My panel would be Shane Dorian, Rabbit, Dane Reynolds, Ry Craike, Brock Little, and Micheal Ho! that seeems weel rounded to me, and if it were really a “DREAM TOUR” like GLand, Fiji, Chopes, JBAY, Pipe, and go back to Mexico RIP CURL, u dumbass bitches! Bruce Irons and Dane Reynolds are the best surfers on earth! why cant we watch them. Brodie Carr should be shot for letting people with $$$$ tell him what to do! THE SURFERS SHOULD DECIDE!!! and fuck all da photowhores! put a big $$$ comp at Shipsterns with a window, and Mavs, and Cortez! lets see you candy asses earn your duckets! i wanna see a tour with Jaws, Chopes, Mavs, Shipsterns, da Box in da mix with Snappers, Jeffreys, and Trestles, cuz, if u put it on that scale, Kelly Slater is just a tiny dancer! im gonna catch mad shit for this post, but, ive earned my stripes!

  • Leosurf

    Curren and a decent accountant

  • hopper


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